How to Annoy People

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How to Annoy People

Post by Doctor Inferno on 11th February 2009, 9:59 am

How To Annoy People In An Elevator

Ask, “did you hear that cable snapping sound?”

Call the psychic hotline from you cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you’re on.

Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”

Hum the theme from Mission Impossible with yours eyes darting around the elevator.

Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmates

Cheer and clap loudly every time someoe breaks the silence w/ a bodily function noise.

Drop a marble and say, "Oh crap! My glass eye!"

Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

General Ways to Annoy People

Announce when you're going to the bathroom.

Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!")


Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.

Ways To Annnoy Your Roommate

Become a mime. Nothing is more annoying than a mime.

Ask your roommate if your family can move in "just for a couple of weeks."

Buy some turtles. Paint numbers on their backs. Race them down the hall.

Chain yourself to your roommate's bed. Get him/her to bring you food.

Ways To Annoy People In The Computer Lab

Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.

Light candles in a circle around your terminal before starting.

Play "Pong" for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.

Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.

Ways to Annoy People on the Beach

Wear t-shirt that says, "I'm the coolest dude on this pathetic beach. No autographs please."

Ask everyone you meet, "Hot enough for you?"

Sing the "Barney" theme song as loud as you can.

If you see kids building a sand castle, say, "That's not a real castle!"

Ways to Annoy People At An Amusement Park

Leave large gaps in between you and the people in front of you while waiting in line.

Offer people money for their spots in line...MONOPOLY money.

Find someone to tell your life story to.

Whisper right in someone's ear, "I know what you did last summer."

Ways To Annoy People On The Subway

Stand in front of the doorway and glare at people when they try to get by.

Constantly ask people for directions.

Don't take a shower for a month.

Tell the people your problems. They really want to know.

Ways to Annoy People in the Office

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.

Email your boss the message: I know what you did last vacation.

Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)

Schedule meetings for 4:14 pm.

Ways to Torture the Pizza Guy

Ask for the guy who took your order last time.

Ask if you they can put food color in the cheese.

Ask them to not put a band-aid on it this time or you will sue.

How To Annoy People On An Airplane

Call the stewardess "nurse".

Don't use deoderant, then "accidently" stick your armpit in someone's face

If someone has a bad toupee, whack it off.

No matter what the meal choices are, demand rice-a-roni.

Ways To Annoy Your Professors

Instead of taking notes, do an abstract painting during every class. Call the paintings things like, "Professor Acting Like Mr. Know-It-All" or "Idiot Who Doesn't Know What The Hell He's Talking About." Give the paintings to your professor as gifts.

Ways To Annoy A Cop

Hey, you must've been doin' 125 mph to keep up with me!

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.

Annoying Things To Do In A Discount Superstore

Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.

Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

Annoying Things To Say To Other People

Would you hold this messy kleenex for me?

Would you look at the size of the hair I just yanked out of my nose!

Can you believe they only gave me three years for killing my own sister?!

I've just been treated for tapeworms.

Ways to Annoy Santa Claus

Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.

Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.

While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.

How To Annoy The IRS

If your very unfortunate and have to pay taxes use a two or three party check.

If you send 2 checks they'll have to staple your unsightly envelope to your half destroyed form.

Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to verified and then date stamped.

How To Be Annoying At A Funeral s

Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.

Ask the widow to give you a kiss.

Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.

Show up at the funeral services in a clown suit.

Ways to Annoy Usenet (internet newsgroup) Users

Post a message asking how to post messages.

Post recipes on rec.pets.cats.

Follow up a 200-line post to add only your signature.

Flame yourself, and complain to your own postmaster.

Annoying Things To Do At A Drive Through Window

Specify that this order is "To Go".

At midnight, ask if you are too early for Breakfast.

Laugh loudly when asked if you would like fries with your order.

Ways To Be Annoying In A Mall

Sprint up the down escalator.

Ask for red-tinted lenses at the optometrist.

Change every TV in the electronics department to a station showing “Saved by the Bell”.

Put weird backgrounds on store computers when people aren't looking.

Annoying Things to Do at the Bowling Alley

Rent all the lanes, don't bowl.

Wear a baseball uniform, bowl sidearm.

Sit in your lane and heckle others with a bullhorn.

Run around sprinkling "magic fairy dust" on everyone's balls.

How to Annoy (Get Rid Of) A Blind Date

Hold a debate. Take both sides.

Repeat every third third word you say say.

Ask the people at the neighboring table for food from their plates.

Ask your date how much money they have with them.

Ways To Annoy People In Restaurants

Two Words: Food Fight.

Play with your food; to add effect, act like it's a special performance for the people at the next table.

Whenever anyone leaves their seat at another table, put some particularly messy peice of food on their seat.

Ways To Annoy People At The Movies

Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"

Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.

Clap when the good guy gets killed.

Annoying Things To Do At School

leave a Snickers bar in the toilet.

Draw pictures of your professor in the margins.

End the paper with "This paper will self-destruct in 10 seconds".

Support your thesis with quotes from your VCR manual.

How To Annoy Your Waiter

Eight hour lunch; two dollar tip.

Ask, "Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?"

After he describes each special, you shout, "Stinks!"

Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, "Minimum wage."

How To Annoy Your Parents

Paint your windows.

Boil ice cream.

Join Hell's Angels by mail.

Redecorate your garage.

Ways to Annoy a Yankee (Northerner)

Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.

Pronounce all one-syllable words with two.

Refer to every soft drink as a Coke.

Tell them you don't have an accent, they do.

How To Annoy Your Driver

Always tell the driver to slow down or speed up.

Every time you see a car pulling out, yell to the driver "Watch it!"

Point to the right and tell the driver to make a left.

How To Annoy Other Drivers

Keep your brake light blinking by keeping one foot on the brake pedal at all times.

If you are on vacation and you see any sort of wildlife, stop in your lane to take a lot of pictures.

Women are encouraged to put on their make-up while driving.

Annoying Things To Do During A Job Interview

While shaking hands get into a heated thumb wrestling match.

Stick a piece of broccoli between your front teeth, smile a lot.

Demand that if hired you want desk plate that reads, "Big Kahuna."

Annoying Things To Do In A Swimming Pool

Hit strangers with your flutter board.

Laugh at fat people in swimsuits.

Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.

Annoying Things to do at a Synagogue

Use the Jewish hat as a frisbee

Bring popcorn and keep saying "i heard that religion got a good review"

Leave cookies and milk in the middle of the synagoguge with a peice of paper that reads santa

Ask people if they liked the passion

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Re: How to Annoy People

Post by Jerry Parnell on 11th February 2009, 9:26 pm


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Re: How to Annoy People

Post by ocean.bluex on 11th February 2009, 11:00 pm



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Re: How to Annoy People

Post by Sir $wat on 12th February 2009, 12:57 am

they r alot.... some are quite good...

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Re: How to Annoy People

Post by jojozzzzz on 12th February 2009, 5:56 am

haha! the last part is the best. LMBO or ROFL

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Re: How to Annoy People

Post by Agent Cosmic on 13th February 2009, 8:32 am

Email your boss the message: I know what you did last vacation.
Not afraid you'll get fired?

FunSubstance is the place to go for daily entertainment.

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