Observations by Billy Connolly

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Observations by Billy Connolly

Post by Agent Cosmic on Thu 26 Jun 2008, 8:17 pm

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". F*cking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the f*ck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the f*cking floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
7. When something is "new and improved!". Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the f*ck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, K**bhead?
10. People who say things like "My eyes aren't what they used to be." So what did they used to be? Ears? Wellington boots?
11. When you're eating something and someone asks "Is that nice?" No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It's has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you f*cking McTosser.
14. When you involved in an accident and someone asks "are you alright?" Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.

FunSubstance is the place to go for daily entertainment.

Agent Cosmic

Manager | Developer
Manager | Developer

Posts : 3269
Joined : 2008-03-07
Operating System : Windows 7

View user profile http://twitter.com/AgentCosmic/

Back to top Go down

Re: Observations by Billy Connolly

Post by Biglowz on Tue 01 Jul 2008, 12:28 am

LoLs.. this one is my favourite.. its really sarcastic though..


Advanced Surfer
Advanced Surfer

Posts : 505
Joined : 2008-03-31
Operating System : Windows XP

View user profile

Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum