Quotes

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Re: Quotes

Post by Jerry Parnell on 14th March 2009, 10:32 am

Cool Thread!

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Re: Quotes

Post by Agent Cosmic on 23rd March 2009, 10:58 am

The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty, its just twice as big as it needs to be.




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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 24th March 2009, 11:17 am

We live in a funny nation, where Pizza reaches home faster than the Ambulance or police.


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Re: Quotes

Post by Agent Cosmic on 30th March 2009, 12:18 pm

Education has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading.




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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 4th April 2009, 9:35 am

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." -- Robert Redford


"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow


"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde


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Re: Quotes

Post by fatguy on 5th April 2009, 1:37 pm

I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here
.

-Stephen Bishop

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Re: Quotes

Post by Agent Cosmic on 8th April 2009, 9:58 am

That quote is awesome!

"A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece."
-Ludwig erhard




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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 10th April 2009, 1:14 pm

Death is hereditary


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Re: Quotes

Post by Agent Cosmic on 11th April 2009, 4:42 am

"A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp."




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Re: Quotes

Post by gloriafairy on 13th April 2009, 1:05 pm

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

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Software Engineering Related Proverbs

Post by Agent Cosmic on 18th April 2009, 9:56 am

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.
-- Einstein



The difference between a programmer and a designer:
"If you make a general statement, a programmer says, 'Yes, but...' while a designer says, 'Yes, and...'



Craziness is doing the same thing and expecting a different result.
-> Tom DeMarco, rephrasing Einstein, who said:
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.



We know about as much about software quality problems as they knew about the Black Plague in the 1600s. We've seen the victims' agonies and helped burn the corpses. We don't know what causes it; we don't really know if there is only one disease. We just suffer -- and keep pouring our sewage into our water supply.
-- Tom Van Vleck



To go faster, slow down. Everybody who knows about orbital mechanics understands that.
-- Scott Cherf



Your problem is another's solution; Your solution will be his problem.



The significant problems we face cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
-- Albert Einstein



It is not enough to do your best: you must know what to do, and THEN do your best.
-- W. Edwards Deming



A leader is best when people barely know that he exists.
Less good when they obey and acclaim him.
Worse when they fear and despise him.
Fail to honor people, and they fail to honor you.
But of a good leader, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled,
they will say, "We did this ourselves."
-- Lao-Tzu



You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
-- Gandhi



Q: How many QA testers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: QA testers don't change anything. They just report that it's dark.



Abraham Lincoln reportedly said that, given eight hours to chop down a tree, he'd spend six sharpening his axe.




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Re: Quotes

Post by charvie on 23rd April 2009, 5:35 pm

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.
-- Einstein

I like this quote Cheesy Grin (sparkly




THIS SIGNATURE IS BY::: AGENT COSMIC ----------QUOTE BY:::TECHY

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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 2nd May 2009, 4:53 am

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

I speak two languages, Body and English.

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?


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Re: Quotes

Post by bongring on 3rd May 2009, 5:05 am

if you've got nothing to do, don't do it here.+ Cheesy Grin (sparkly

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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 5th May 2009, 9:35 am

Don't open the darkroom door, it lets all the dark out.

Every time I find the meaning of life, they change it.

I can handle pain until it hurts.


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Re: Quotes

Post by Agent Cosmic on 8th May 2009, 4:36 am

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.




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Re: Quotes

Post by bongring on 8th May 2009, 9:29 am

mistakes are the risk we didn't take. Smile

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Re: Quotes

Post by Agent Cosmic on 15th May 2009, 7:20 am

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak."




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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 15th May 2009, 7:24 am

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.


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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 23rd May 2009, 9:24 am

Life is a terminal disease.

Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy anything!


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Re: Quotes

Post by intel14 on 2nd June 2009, 5:52 am

The X-Files Series

"The best way to predict the future is to invent it."

"Don't unlock doors you're not prepare to go through"

"The truth is out there, but so are lies"

"It's the reaction of people around us that makes us who we are."

LOL Banner

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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 10th June 2009, 10:15 am

Cheap guitar for sale....... No strings attached.

Are you wearing lipstick? Mind if I taste it?

Beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder.

Better late than really late.


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Re: Quotes

Post by megatails5 on 18th June 2009, 8:17 pm

Albert Einstein: I know not with what weapons WW3 will be fought, but world war 4 will be fought with sticks and stones
There lies an evil in this soiciety which lies blame to all of our problems (Adolf Hitler)

(unknown) My god carries a hammer, your god died nailed to a tree, any questions?

`My mistake, your fault` My dad!
`Money is the root of all evil, time is money, so time is evil, women take up most of your time and money, therefore the root of all evil is women?` Me!



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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 20th June 2009, 3:10 am

Be safety concious, 80% of people are caused by accidents

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Don't argue with a fool, the spectators can't really tell the difference.

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened


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Re: Quotes

Post by Agent Cosmic on 23rd June 2009, 3:37 am

I wish I were a derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.

Let me integrate our curves so that I can increase our volume.

If I were a function you would be my asymptote - I always tend towards you.




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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 25th June 2009, 10:17 am

Sarcastic Quotes

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

There is always death and taxes; however death doesn't get worse every year.

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Not afraid of heights - afraid of widths.


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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 26th June 2009, 5:43 am

Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune.
~Jim Rohn


Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
~Gandhi


Every student can learn, just not on the same day, or the same way.
~George Evans


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Re: Quotes

Post by Agent Cosmic on 26th June 2009, 10:47 am

I love this:
Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune.




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Re: Quotes

Post by RunAwai on 9th July 2009, 2:22 pm

read my signature best quote in the world lol

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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 12th July 2009, 2:09 am

Live for nothing, die for something.

After all is said and done, more is said than done.

Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.

Give a jackass an education and you will get a smartass.

Happiness isn't having what you want, it's wanting what you have


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Re: Quotes

Post by Keollyn on 12th July 2009, 1:59 pm

My simple, yet live-by quote is:

"What is to be, will be"

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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 21st July 2009, 12:54 pm

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.


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Re: Quotes

Post by Sir $wat on 21st July 2009, 5:21 pm

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

wonderful^^^



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Re: Quotes

Post by Agent Cosmic on 24th July 2009, 9:29 am

Every man is wise when attacked by a mad dog; fewer when pursued by a mad woman; only the wisest survive when attacked by a mad notion.




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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 31st July 2009, 7:43 am

Most people fail in life because they major in minor things.

Comedy is tragedy that happens to other people.

People living deeply have no fear of death.

People will believe anything if you whisper it.

Power doesn't corrupt people. People corrupt power.




And some insulting quotes...

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.

Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.

I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.


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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 18th August 2009, 8:15 am

Life isnt about waiting for the storm to pass. Its about learning to dance in the rain

Action may not always bring happiness but there is no happiness without action.

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten


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Re: Quotes

Post by groovybluedog on 18th August 2009, 8:26 am

dont make fun of boffs, as you may end up working for one

bill gates.

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Re: Quotes

Post by taffy_miller on 25th August 2009, 1:03 am

"Never send a man to do a woman's job"

LOL! Okay, I do say that a lot but I am just joking, of course it's not true or I wouldn't be here looking for computer help, as I assume most of you are males...

Well, I REALLY liked the following quote, being that I am an RN and a good many of the people I know/knew are sick/dying/dead, if you ever have to go to a funeral home and you want to do something heartwarming for the family, give them a candle and tell them to light it whenever the deceased would have been present... and I like to write this on sympathy cards:

"Death is nothing more than moving from one room to another... but in that other room, I will be able to see" Helen Keller

And another favorite, "Challenge is a dragon with a gift in its mouth. Tame the dragon and the gift is yours."

Oh, and okay, I HAVE to add this one, I put this in the yearbook with my older son's senior picture: "The decision to have a child is the decision to spend the rest of your life with your heart walking around outside your body." I think the wording may be off a little on that one... but you can figure it out...

Rose Smile

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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 26th August 2009, 2:42 pm

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

Maybe this world is another planet's hell.

Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

The future will be better tomorrow.

The best things in life aren't things.

The only certain thing in life is death.


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Re: Quotes

Post by Agent Cosmic on 28th August 2009, 1:42 pm

The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.
Always forgive your enemies -- nothing annoys them so much.
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.




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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 3rd September 2009, 10:07 am

If youre too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

You were looking good from afar.. now youre far from looking good.

I like you. People say Ive got no taste, but I like you.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now Im not too sure.


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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 4th September 2009, 9:50 am

Speeding doesn't kill you. Instant stopping does.

There is two things you should never run after... a woman and a bus, there is always another one coming

Winners Never Quit and Quitters Never Win!

Imagination is more important than knowledge - Albert Einstein

Fighting for peace is like having sex for virginity

Expensive things are not cheap


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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 18th September 2009, 4:36 pm

What's the speed of dark?

What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.

How does Teflon stick to the pan?

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.


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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 5th October 2009, 10:52 am

A good friend sees the first tear, catches the second and stops the third.

A lawyer knows the law, a good lawyer knows the judge.

A helping hand is no father than at the end of your sleeve.

Ugly is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again.

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.

Ever stop to think and forgot to start again?

Everyone complaints about memory, but no one complaints about intelligence.

Everyone is a genius. It's just that some people are too stupid to realize it.


Last edited by Doctor Inferno on 6th October 2009, 8:17 am; edited 1 time in total


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Re: Quotes

Post by megatails5 on 5th October 2009, 7:16 pm


Ever start to think and forgot to start again?

doc, i believe you mean: Ever stop to think and forget to start again?



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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 6th October 2009, 8:16 am

Opps! Thanks for the correction. Goofy


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Re: Quotes

Post by pb1947 on 7th October 2009, 3:09 pm

woman that wins hammer throw has husband that wins sprints, hehe

I know better ones but not allowed to state them here, lol

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Re: Quotes

Post by Aprius on 13th November 2009, 3:46 am

"Motivation alone is not enough. If you have an idiot and you motivate him, now you have a motivated idiot."
-Jim Rohn

Didn't Read All 8 Other Pages, hoping this one wasn't taken.

Some Others-

"The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots as a joke, but the Scots haven't got the joke yet."

The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy. -Jim Rohn

Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad. - P.D. East

"Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. "Quoted from Buddha



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Re: Quotes

Post by Doctor Inferno on 21st December 2009, 5:10 am

Gravity doesn't exist, the Earth sucks.

Make war, not sex. It's safer!

Nice perfume, must you marinate in it?

The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is they day they start making vacuum cleaners.

God, why did you make the evidence for you existence so insufficient?

I don't break rules, I merely test their elasticity.


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Re: Quotes

Post by xald on 21st December 2009, 4:17 pm

@Digitalocksmith wrote:People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take
of them.

i love it

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