Top Jokes

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Top Jokes

Post by Agent Cosmic on Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:45 am

Top Joke in England

Two weasels are sitting on a barstool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, "I slept with your mother!" The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!" The other says, "Go home dad you're drunk.

Top Joke in Northern Ireland

A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news and worse news'. 'Oh dear, what's the bad news?' asks the patient. The doctor replies, 'You only have 24 hours to live'. 'That's terrible', said the patient. 'How can the news possibly be worse?' The doctor replies, 'I've been trying to contact you since yesterday'.

Top Joke in Scotland

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

Top joke in UK

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off, go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.

Top joke in USA

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man. The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married for 35 years."

Top joke in Canada

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.

THE WINNING JOKE

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"




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Re: Top Jokes

Post by POG on Tue Jul 22, 2008 4:43 am

the spider said to another spider:" where's your web?"
"my web?its in my website"

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Re: Top Jokes

Post by GT_Legend on Tue Jul 22, 2008 7:56 am

LOL good jokes Agent....
POG your joke is lame...

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Re: Top Jokes

Post by Biglowz on Tue Jul 22, 2008 11:12 am

LoLs...!! POG.. HaHa.. ignore GT.. hes negative about everything.. LoLs.. i thought it was funny.. for a second.. haha..

Which is better then nth.. LoLs.. next time post in ur own topic..


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I can dream can't I?


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Re: Top Jokes

Post by POG on Thu Jul 24, 2008 12:22 pm

dun oe how la anyway who is GT?

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