Tech Support

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Tech Support

Post by Xenos on Mon Aug 10, 2009 10:32 pm

a few tech support calls, they are old but i like em Cheesy Grin (sparkly

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Caller: Hey, can you help me? My computer has locked up, and no matter how many times I type eleven, it won’t unfreeze.

Agent: What do you mean, “type eleven?”

Caller: The message on my screen says, “Error Type 11!”

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Customer: My mouse mat isn't wired up.
Advisor: I'm not sure I understand, your mouse mat shouldn't have any wires.
Customer: Well how does it know where my mouse is? Is it wireless?
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer.' I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it…
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Customer: I have problems printing in red…
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah…………………thank you.
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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
------------------------------------------
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer:

Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?

Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
-----------------------------------------------------


Main System Spec: Intel Quad Q9550 (OC to 3.4Ghz), Gigabyte Ga-ep45-ud3l, 4gb kingston hyperX @ 1066mhz, Corsair tx 650, Nvidia 8600GT.


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Re: Tech Support

Post by Doctor Inferno on Tue Aug 11, 2009 5:01 am

Thank goodness, no one has come to GeekPolice with such problems. Ahahaha


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Re: Tech Support

Post by Xenos on Tue Aug 11, 2009 8:29 am

Not Yet Ahahaha

some people think these are fake, but as a techy myself i know they arnt.

Not so long ago, i set up a computer for a mate, and a week later he told me it stopped working, so we were on the phone, and he told me it wouldn't turn on.
So i went through all these different things for him to try to get it to work, and after about half an hour or so of racking my brain i came to the conclusion that his PSU may have died.
Then all i heard was a "AAAAHHH"
He hadn't to plug it into the wall Sad tearing

Now i know this guy wasnt technical minded but "GEEEEZZZZ'

true story Smile


Main System Spec: Intel Quad Q9550 (OC to 3.4Ghz), Gigabyte Ga-ep45-ud3l, 4gb kingston hyperX @ 1066mhz, Corsair tx 650, Nvidia 8600GT.


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Re: Tech Support

Post by Doctor Inferno on Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:00 am

LMBO or ROFL


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Re: Tech Support

Post by Japanese on Wed Aug 12, 2009 6:59 pm

Rofl. Funny Big Grin



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Re: Tech Support

Post by megatails5 on Wed Aug 12, 2009 9:23 pm

hahahaha, another good joke from the gp forum, i always love to stop by to see how everyones humor is. And yours is high Xenos, i would love to hear more of these, any idea where to find them?



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Re: Tech Support

Post by Xenos on Thu Aug 13, 2009 9:01 am

just google "funny tech support calls" it should come up with more

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

------------------------------------------------
A man purchased a laptop from me. He called about a week later and said
that it would no longer boot-up. I tried to troubleshoot with him about
what went wrong but he said it wouldn't even start. I had him bring it
in and I couldn't get it to work either. I was making preparations to
remove the hard drive so I could put it into a new laptop for him. When
I turned it over, I saw 16 nicely drilled holes in the bottom of the
case. I asked him how this had happened and he said that it was getting
hot sitting on his lap all the time, so he drilled some air holes in
it. "Could that be the problem?" he asked.

--------------------------------------------------------
AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to
control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic
bag the mouse was packaged in.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to Fax
anything. After 40 minutes of failed problem solving is was discovered
the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of
the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

----------------------------------------
An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new
Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in,
the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power
button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and
nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's
mouse.

----------------------------------------------
An IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I
put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the
third disk - I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized
that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.

---------------------------------
Caller: Hi, um, my printer smells funny and it's smoking.


Tech: Well, have you turned it off?


Caller: Well, no, I was told never to turn it off without running it through shutdown and it won't go through shutdown
.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"


Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"


Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my Warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"


Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"


Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."


Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, It's because I
am. Did you receive this as part of a promotion, at a trade show? How
did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"


Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a
promotional. It just has '4X' on it." At this point the Tech Rep had to
mute the caller, because he was laughing too hard. The caller had been
using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder.

----------------------------------------------------------
Tech: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"


Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."


Tech: "What sort of trouble?"


Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."


Tech: "Went away?"


Caller: "They disappeared."


Tech: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"


Caller: "Nothing."


Tech: "Nothing?"


Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."


Tech: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"


Caller: "How do I tell?"


Tech: "Can you see the "C" prompt on the screen?"


Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"


Tech: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"


Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."


Tech: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"


Caller: "What's a monitor?"

Tech: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"


Caller: "I don't know."


Tech: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

Caller: "...Yes, I think so."


Tech: "Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."


Caller: "...Yes, it is."


Tech: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"


Caller: "No."


Tech: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."


Caller: "...Okay, here it is."


Tech: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."


Caller: "I can't reach."


Tech: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"


Caller: "No."


Tech: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"


Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."


Tech: "Dark?"


Caller: "Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."


Tech: "Well, turn on the office light then."


Caller: "I can't."


Tech: "No? Why not?"


Caller: "Because there's a power outage."


Tech: "A power... a power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked
now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
computer came in?"


CUST: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."


Tech: "Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up
just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
bought it from."


Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"


Tech: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."


Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"


Tech: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."


Main System Spec: Intel Quad Q9550 (OC to 3.4Ghz), Gigabyte Ga-ep45-ud3l, 4gb kingston hyperX @ 1066mhz, Corsair tx 650, Nvidia 8600GT.


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Re: Tech Support

Post by Doctor Inferno on Thu Aug 13, 2009 9:42 am

I've got one:

Keyboard not found. Press F2 to continue.


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Re: Tech Support

Post by megatails5 on Thu Aug 13, 2009 11:04 am

hahahaha, some people are so idiotic, if it runs from the mains, it wont work in a power outage! LMBO or ROFL Ahahaha LMBO or ROFL



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Re: Tech Support

Post by ViKtory on Thu Aug 13, 2009 1:57 pm

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!too funnnnnnnyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!



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Re: Tech Support

Post by xald on Sat Oct 31, 2009 6:53 pm

funniest things i have ever read! LOL Banner LMBO or ROFL

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